Cletus's Cast-Iron Pepperoni & Sausage Skillet Pizza Pie

Y'all gather 'round the porch 'cause we're fixin' up a proper Southern skillet pizza pie loaded with pepperoni, Italian sausage, and all the fixins straight from the holler. This a…

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Ingredients

Skillet pizza dough crust: that sturdy, golden biscuit-like base baked right in the cast-iron to cradle every topping like a possum in a pine box
Tomato pizza sauce: thick, tangy red sauce simmered with just enough spice to make your tongue dance a jig
Italian sausage pizza topping: spicy, savory sausage crumbles that pack more punch than a mule kick on a Saturday night
Pepperoni pizza topping: crispy, cupped pepperoni slices that curl up like little red hats full of flavor
Bell peppers: bright, snappy green and red bells chopped chunky for a sweet crunch that hollers fresh from the garden
Vidalia onions: sweet Georgia onions sliced thin, milder than a church lady's gossip and twice as addictive
Shrooms: earthy button mushrooms sliced thick, bringin' that woodsy flavor like a stroll through the back forty
Cheddar cheese: sharp, melty orange cheddar shredded generous, the kind that strings like spiderwebs when you pull a slice

Directions

First, fire up your trusty cast-iron skillet on medium heat and press that skillet pizza dough crust flat into the bottom like you're smoothin' out a possum pelt—make sure it covers the whole pan nice and even so it don't bubble up like a bad moonshine batch.
While the crust starts to set, grab your tomato pizza sauce and spread it generous all over the dough with the back of a spoon, leavin' a little border for the crust to crisp up golden like a fried catfish tail.
Next, sprinkle a hearty layer of that sharp cheddar cheese right over the sauce so it starts meltin' and formin' a gooey base that holds everything together tighter than a hound dog on a scent.
Scatter the Italian sausage pizza topping crumbles evenly across the cheese like you're feedin' chickens in the yard—don't skimp, 'cause this meat brings the heat and the flavor.
Toss on the pepperoni pizza topping slices in a pretty pattern, lettin' 'em overlap just a tad so they crisp up at the edges like little red rafts floatin' on a cheesy sea.
Add the chopped bell peppers and Vidalia onions next, mixin' 'em in so every bite gets that sweet, snappy contrast to the meats like a square dance partner switch.
Layer on the shrooms last before the final cheese, pressin' 'em down gentle so they don't roll off like a loose wheel on a moonshine still.
Top it all with another big handful of cheddar cheese to seal the deal, then slide the whole skillet into a preheated 425-degree oven for about 15-20 minutes till the cheese is bubblin' and the crust edges are crispy brown.
Pull that skillet out with oven mitts (or your callused hands if you're tough like Earl) and let it rest a minute so the cheese sets without burnin' your tongue off like hot tar.
Finally, slice that pizza pie into wedges with a big ol' knife, serve it up hot on the porch table, and watch the family fight over the last piece like it's the last biscuit at Sunday supper.

More free Instant plates and funny Southern recipes at chucklechow.com.