Cast-Iron Meat-Loaded Skillet Pie Pizza

Y'all gather 'round the porch 'cause this ain't no fancy city pie—it's a down-home skillet pizza built for folks who like their crust crispy, their sausage Free

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Ingredients

Skillet pizza dough crust - that sturdy, golden biscuit-like base you roll out in a cast-iron pan till it's flatter than a possum on the highway and ready to hold all the chaos
Tomato pizza sauce - thick, tangy red gravy straight from the jar but doctored with enough garlic to scare off vampires and in-laws alike
Italian sausage pizza topping - spicy, greasy pork crumbles that sizzle like a July barbecue and bring the heat your tongue's been beggin' for
Pepperoni pizza topping - those little spicy circles of cured pork that curl up and cup the grease like tiny edible shot glasses
Onion - a big ol' sweet Vidalia chopped rough so it sweetens up and turns translucent like it's been baptized in bacon fat
Shrooms - earthy button mushrooms sliced thin and sautéed till they're darker than a moonless night in the holler
Cheddar cheese - sharp, orange blocks grated fresh so it melts into a gooey blanket that stretches like taffy at the county fair

Directions

First, fire up your oven to 475 degrees and grease that cast-iron skillet like you're polishin' your favorite huntin' rifle—use plenty of oil so the crust don't stick and sue you later.
Roll out your skillet pizza dough crust into a nice even round that fits the pan, press it down with your knuckles like you're kneadin' out the day's frustrations, and poke a few holes so it don't balloon up like a tick on a hound.
Spread that tomato pizza sauce all over the dough in a thick, even layer, makin' sure every inch gets covered 'cause dry crust is a sin in these parts and we ain't havin' it.
Brown up the Italian sausage pizza topping in a separate skillet till it's crumbly and fragrant, drain the grease into a jar for later gravy makin', then scatter it generous-like across the sauced dough.
Layer on the pepperoni pizza topping in overlapping circles, tuckin' some under the sausage so every bite gets that spicy, crispy edge that makes grown men weep with joy.
Sauté the onion and shrooms together in the leftover sausage drippings till the onions turn sweet and the mushrooms soak up all that flavor like a sponge at a church supper.
Sprinkle the sautéed onion and shrooms evenly over the meats, lettin' 'em nestle in like old friends at a fish fry.
Pile on the grated cheddar cheese till the whole pie looks like a golden mountain—don't be shy, more cheese means more happiness and fewer complaints from the young'uns.
Slide the skillet into the hot oven and bake for 15-20 minutes till the crust is golden brown, the cheese is bubblin' like a hot spring, and the edges are crispy enough to snap like a twig under a boot.
Pull that beauty out, let it rest just long enough to keep from burnin' your tongue off, then slice it into wedges and serve it up with a holler that dinner's ready.

More free Instant plates and funny Southern recipes at chucklechow.com.